You Know It's Been Too Long...

when the entire set up of the blogging world has changed, and you were clueless!

Here's to trying to figure out how to blog again!!

For Joy?

I have issues.. lots of them, actually. One of them effects my life greatly. It doesn't really have a name, because it's comprised of many factors: pride, fear, control.. I could list a lot of things out there!! But basically it comes down to telling God 'no' when He lays something on my heart. Sad, right? Okay.. it's honestly more than sad. It's weird, pathetic, and crazy! I mean, my entire life has been devoted to 'following God', so to tell Him no doesn't really fit or make much sense there. But I do still.

The thing is that I know when I do it. I don't know if everyone has that ability, but I sure do! God has given me a sensitive heart to Him and His leading. Mostly I value that and think it's great. Sometimes, like today, I really hate it.. Why? Because He told me to do something (pull my car over and talk to the lady waiting at the bus stop with a sad face- see: awkward, crazy, and not in my agenda) and I said no. As I kept on driving, my argument and defenses piled on high. But it didn't stop there, the guilt came rushing forward as well. You see, I remember each time I tell the Lord no. No, I won't hold my tongue! No, I not extend that grace to that mean person! No, I won't help the Roma lady carry her heavy bundle of collected garbage home! No, I won't go visit my neighbor! No, I won't.. It makes me sad to remember each of these instances. And remembering them isn't something I'm too keen on doing, so I try to avoid such thoughts.. until God tells me another something I resist. Then they all rush out again!

So, today as I continued to drive home, I began to think about why I was so resistant to talk to the woman at the bus stop. I mean, I often prayer walk in that part of the city. I often talk with strangers. I purposely go down to that part of the city to love on and minister to those in need. So, why tell God NO today? Saddest answer ever: it wasn't in my 'comfort' box that I like God to stay within... I like to plan and prepare myself for loving others. I like to be ready for things. Acting and living 'in the Spirit' is the least natural thing for me!

So, the more I drove, the more a verse kept coming to mind: "Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising its shame..." (Hebrews 12) Maybe it is Easter weekend, but maybe it's more to do with that's my problem: a lack of joy? If I were to approach life through the lenses Christ did, maybe I'd not have such a long 'no' list haunting my heart. There is probably something in the death of Christ and Him facing the cross that we all fear or dread. Death? Pain and suffering? Bearing the sin for something you didn't do? Being abandoned and rejected by those you love most? Humiliation? Pretty much a lot of things outside my 'comfortable' box zone!! But He faced it all with JOY.. with joy, folks, with joy! And that concept alone is enough to blow my mind. Enough to dwell and meditate on for a few lifetimes.

So, maybe I'm not too great at being obedient all the time. Maybe I'm a really bad follower. But I'm learning. I'm praying to live by the Spirit. I'm praying to approach these things with joy. And praying for 42nd chances and grace. For God to keep putting people in my path, making me really uncomfortable, and being relentless in the pursuit of my heart. I need that, and I need Him.. and His joy!

Understanding Why

Today I went and got my car inspected. As I was sitting there in suspense over whether the recent problems it had been having would fail it, the gentleman across the room began to chat with me. Older man, masters degree, sixty-eight, successful career and life. Eventually he tired of detailing his life and family's successes. Then came the question: 'What did you get your degree in and are you using it?' I explained a bit about Kosove and now working in the inner city. His face turned contemplative. He was quiet for about half a minute (normal response), and then asked what most people ask first: 'Is it safe over there?' Post-communism. Post-war. Musl'm country. American mindset: it must be dangerous and you must be crazy! Quick subject change following my answer...

A few weeks ago I began to go to a local chiropractor to sort out my back (finally!). He was very friendly and inquisitive into why my back was so bad, asking about recent stresses, about Kosove, etc. Halfway through my chatting with him, he brought up a young woman who'd been recently released after being held hostage for months. She was an aid worker in the M'ddle East. He responded: 'I've always wondered what sort of person would go into situations like that and do things like that. I always thought they were not all with it... And now here one sits in my office!'

This morning I was shocked and upset to discover Jeremiah Small, a family friend from childhood, had been murdered in Ir'q. Shot to death by one of his students... Today feels a bit of a blur. Why questions circulate at the forefront of my mind. They're endless- plaguing every step of my day... And most will remain unanswered on this side of eternity. But that doesn't leave me alone with them and without Shalom or hope.

Ringing in my mind is Operation Auca, or as you may recognize more readily, the murder of Jim Eliott, Nate Saint, Ed McCully, Pete Fleming, and Roger Youderian by the hands of a tribe in Ecuador. And stories of those such as Adoniram Judson, Hudson Taylor, David Brainerd, and others haunt my thoughts. So many in this life time never see the fruit of their (entire) life investments. Every single person I've ever come in contact with pales in comparison to these giants of the faith- in terms of counting the cost and devoting everything on the altar unto the Lord... And, in some cases, never seeing a single reward for any of it. But their death triggered an outpouring of Light beyond what an human can comprehend or even ever take credit for. God was at work for His Name, His Glory, His Fame, His Renown, His Praise, All of Himself to All the World. But just as John the Baptist was simply left with: 'Blessed are those who don't take offense from Me' on his death bed, so these men and women die with questions and maybe even feeling betrayed or wasted...

As I wrestle with my countless 'whys' today, I'm left with a hunger and massive desire to cry out to the Lord on behalf of Ir'q. May Jeremiah's life and testimony among the students and people there not be in vain. May he be rejoicing in heaven now and in the years to come over the lives saved, changed, and restored to their Creator and Lover...through his death! Will you join me in fasting and crying out for the Lord to work, to move, to fill that land with His presence?

Count the cost! Devote your everything on the altar to Him! And then hang on tight as you follow faithfully- whatever the outcome!

Weakness

There are many wonderful verses in God's Word about weaknesses. I've heard them all my life; even memorized a great many of them. But if the truth be told, I don't have a clue what most of them mean. Logically, I can form the equation and make it make sense in my mind. But going deeper than that, truly laying the Scripture over my heart and own life, I don't get them.

You see, I'm a very strong person- stubborn, proud, independent, controlling, perserverant, a fighter...whatever flavor you want it to have. These traits have progressed from possessing a sin nature, remnants of the life I've had, and just the personality God created me with. Ever since I can recall, if there was something I was passionate about or put my heart to pursue, I'd do everything in my power to fight to achieve or win the battle for whatever it was. Example (not me boasting, but rather displaying my own stupidity): my senior year in college. I was determined (for personal, but mainly scholarship reasons) to finish university in 4 years. I took 27 hours (the normal limit is 18) my last semester, taught preschool, was a Resident Assistant to a hall of girls, co-lead a home group at my church, and was the leader of the Habitat for Humanity group on campus... My average night's sleep was around 4 hours, and by the end of all that I crashed. But I was proud of myself- I'd done what I'd set out to do... And life has always been looked at like this for me, through these black and white lenses. If you feel God placing a burden on your heart, go, give it all you have, and don't pay attention to the pain! And so I went, three years ago, to Kosovo with this mindset... what ensued was what has brought me to the broken, more humbled state I'm at today.

I boarded a plan bound for Holland for two weeks of training with a severe stomach virus. The sickness persisted the entire two weeks there and continued (being added to with a nice addition of bronchitis and laryngitis) on into my second two weeks of training in Albania. I lost so much weight, couldn't talk, barely could climb the stairs to where our meetings were being held, or even open a bottle of water. I was utterly pathetic! The mission organization I'd joined had a staff meeting as to whether they thought they should send me home or not (after I'd gotten up to share my testimony and just stood there weeping). Not really someone you'd want on your field, huh? And through the tears and questioning, all God would tell me was this: 'Your outside illnesses are going to match your inside heart issues until you deal with them!' You see, I'd not only boarded a plane to go somewhere, I also boarded a plane to leave somewhere. I was leaving my mom who was about to have a dangerous surgery that the doctors didn't expect her to live through, a brother who was getting married soon, and a whole slew of other things... Going to an unknown place, not knowing a soul in that part of the world. And I was 'okay'- I decided I'd face these things as they came and ignore them in the meanwhile.

I eventually did get better from those awful bugs and illnesses, but that time in training foreshadowed my next three years. God laid me flat! I can probably go back through all those years and take you month by month to huge, painful happenings that knocked me to my knees. I often put it like this in my journal: 'I feel like I stand up, only to have You knock me down again.' And not just certain situations, but it felt like nothing was in my power or reach to achieve. Example: it's always been a dream of mine to be fluent in another language. Now was my chance! I was sooo excited. I started to catch on quick; picking up phrases and words. People even told me I had a perfect accent and if I would stay longer my Albanian would be flawless... In spite of fighting with all my strength for two years to fully learn the language, it didn't happen. Crazy circumstances that were just downright absurd happened instead, and at the end of three years I felt so stupid and like a failure. Or another example: it's also been another dream of mine to have a house that I could decorate and be excited to live in. When I came back home to the US to raise more support, after living there one year, I spent a lot of time finding bargains on light weight things to fill another suitcase with to take back. I'd originally gone over with only one suitcase. Taking two back this time wasn't too much to ask, right? After all, all the other people I'd been working with had brought like 37 crates or even shipped a huge container... In Paris the flight crew wouldn't let me even try to pay to take it- it had to stay in Paris. My friend tried to ship me the stuff, but one box never made it and the other was in a plastic bag with most of the things missing. That blow felt huge- why can someone bring an entire household of things over, and God doesn't allow my one measly suitcase to make it?!?

These are merely two examples of dozens of ridiculous things that happened during the past few years. And it all left me a bit bitter and questioning God last winter. The last straw was water running down the walls of my bedroom (newly painted, nonetheless) and freezing. It was mainly only doing this in my bedroom... I can't express the pain and death I felt inside me at that moment. My failures and shortcomings during my time on the mission field weren't because I wasn't strong or smart enough- it was because Someone had allowed them to come, and I needed to fail! That left me a bit angry and unsettled, asking a lot of questions that began with: 'why...' Through a medical crisis, I ended up back home, going to counseling. During this time God began to remove the blindfold from my eyes.

It's too long to detail all the lessons and things God has revealed to me during the past months of healing and processing. But those verses are beginning to make sense. God didn't take me overseas to become fluent in a language or make a perfect home or be a part of His salvation to millions- He took me there to mold me, shape me to be more like Him, and yes, break me. Break me of my own strength, my independence, my pride, my idol of success... And He's been teaching me to rest, to be still, to quite striving, to release control, and just trust (Him mostly, but also others). It's been a long process, and I'm still quite in the midst of it all. But the verse hanging over my bed, that used to haunt my heart, is becoming my refuge:

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

- II Corinthians 12:9

Flash Back: Feb 3, 2009

Found this while going through old files on my computer (this was 6 months after leaving the US)...

My heart hasn’t been in journaling lately, so I thought I’d try pouring out my heart on here and see if that helps me. I do have much to write about; so much has gone on in my heart and in my life as of late. Honestly, I am angry on the inside most of the time lately. Today I was reading through Romans 12 trying to discover the root of my problem. I think I found it: me and my own foolish pride. I know that sounds simple, but really it is the problem.

I came here to Kosove thinking one thing; my ministry was going to be this and that and not this or that. Well, I got here and nothing has been like planned. I find myself feeling trapped in a place and expected to do things I don’t want to. The story of someone at my conference in Holland keeps coming back to my mind. He joined my organization thinking he’d learned so much and done so much already in life; he had much to offer. Well, he got put in the kitchen peeling potatoes and washing dishes- hardly anything fit for one of his expertise. I sort of laughed the story off back then, but now it rings true. I have been through Bible school, have a degree in Psych, been raised in the church, had oodles of experience working with children, etc. And yet here I am: assisting in an Art class, speaking words that I am told to speak to give them a proper accent in an English class, leading the motions for songs for the children’s meeting, sitting in on a girl’s meeting- not knowing what questions they are asking or what is being said, and sitting alone in the library for 4 hours once a week. Hardly worth me coming all the way to Kosove for, right? Well, that is the root of my heart problem: why am I here? Anyone can do the things I am doing. There is no creativity, no real heart involvement, no making any decisions or choices on my own. So, due to that root problem, another one arises. Why in the world am I putting myself through sheer torture of being here and being a part of this team if I am not being effective? That menial amount of ministry isn’t worth the painfulness of all the rest. But as I met with You today, I heard You say: 'maybe ministry isn’t the important thing in your life right now.' So, I guess I am in training right now...


Guess I was! Looking back, it provided a good foundation of humility for all that laid ahead next. The story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with the little boy's lunch rings so true of my heart during this time. The little boy gave all he had, and then watched as Jesus turned away...and broke it all into pieces! How he must have felt. He'd given everything as a blessing to the Great Teacher, the Master he'd traveled miles to see. And his gift, his offering was seemingly treated with disdain. But the thing unknown was that that gift, that offering was being broken to be multiplied- to bless and feed many. 


How often that is our lives. We give them to God as an offering. But we give them with some expectations or hopes attached. We have our dreams and plans, often unbeknownst to us even. But then things often get uncomfortable, hard, or even painful. And we wonder how God could take that gift, everything we humanly possess, and break it or abuse it. But God isn't just after the temporary; for that moment. He's after our ultimate good and His glory... and to achieve that often takes brokenness and pain.


In some ways I find myself here again- in a painful season of life; wondering what in the world God's doing with 'my gift'... And yet the truth of this lesson (accompanied by the hundred others learned while overseas) provides patience, trust, and joy in the middle of difficult circumstances.


Guess I'm in training right now... again :)


(sometimes blogging makes me want to throw my computer across the room- I just spent 20 mins trying to get the font to all look the same...and now I'm done cos I'm done, not cos it looks any better...Boo!)

Reentry

It's been 2 months since I posted! That's surprising for this blog...however, not so much for where I'm at in life. There's so much to say, and yet nothing at all. These past months have been spent seeing family, doing random things for cash, looking for a job, praying a lot, and trying to follow Him towards what's next. The hardest part has been feeling young, 'just out of college' again... Only back then I had a big dream (to move overseas), and now I have a shattered dream (great book: Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb). It's not at all a bad place to be; just rough. And it makes searching out God's heart and His dream a bit more difficult, and me a bit more hesitant. It's just a season, though- that's my motto at the moment! A season to be learned from. A season to be treasured, as hard as that is. A season to be well spent. A season to share with others- now and one day with maybe a deeper wisdom.

So, as I struggle to believe that all the things from the past 3 years were true and really, indeed happened. As I wrestle with not being able to look through any pictures of friends and kids I worked with. As I weep over what was and no longer is. As I remember the hard lessons God taught and who I am because of that. As I try not to block it all out cos it doesn't fit in with society here so well, and I often feel different and awkward... God is here! He was here 4 years ago. He knew these moments before they even began. He's outside of time. And He's in tomorrow- even though I have no clue what will transpire then!

Trust... Guess that would be the one word I could sum up this reentry process in. Do you trust Me? Do you entrust yourself, your doubts, your fears, your failures, your pains, your joys, your triumphs, your anxieties... to Me? Do you believe I'm after your good? Do you believe that I'm loving? Will you let your heart be held fully by Me...whatever comes? Trust!

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, BUT you would have none of it.'"
-Isaiah 30:15 (my cling-to verse during these past weeks)

The choices before and after this passage were walling yourself in or fleeing- I've been guilty of both. But what freedom I've found in repenting, resting, being still and quiet, and simply trusting! :)

Goodbye Kosovo!

So, I left Kosovo the other day (am currently taking a bit of time to transition to being back home in Belgium with some good friends). It was pretty much one of the hardest things I've ever done. Leaving the US was pretty hard for many reasons, but I knew I'd be back one day really soon. Maybe things wouldn't be the same, but part of it would still feel like home, if that makes sense. First of all, there's no guarantee I'll be back to Kosovo (though I so much hope to be!). And second, every aspect of life there will be vastly different. My kids will all be grown- some married, some in university, or some stagnant. My team will be drastically changed. My city has been on the up and up of modern improvements being implemented, so it will feel very 'un-homey' to me. I don't know... I just have such special memories of Kosovo, of people there, of my team, of my house (it was the first place that felt like 'mine' and like home, per se)! It wasn't always easy or pain-free, but I think the richer things in life aren't ever easily had or found...

So, there is my two cents as I am trying to find the way forward during these difficult days that lay ahead. I covet your prayers and am eager to see each one of you! Big hugs until then..

Lessons on Love

Ok, for starters- I hate dogs- bear that in mind as you read!

My city at the base of the mountains!

I love my city here- it's is the most beautiful place I've ever lived! It is at the base of the Rugova Gorge. Such a lovely place to picnic, take a hike, or simply stroll through. However, the past few outings I've had there have been less than peaceful! All thanks to a dog...

I shudder at the thought of even having to describe this gross creature- ugh! The first time I saw it he was lying on the side of the narrow road (tall mountains on either side, not much room = not a good place to be laying!). From a distance I could see that he was mostly bald from mange and the hair he did have was matted and dirty. As he turned his head, I almost lost it! It was a scene out of some horror movie- eyes that were bleeding...literally! I'm guessing he saw compassion or something in me as I was jogging by, because he got up and tried to follow me. Only he'd been hit by a vehicle and his back leg was badly broken. He was a sack of skin and bones...

I remember praying a lot on that jog: "Oh God, can you just kill that thing and put it out of its misery! Please make it stop following me. Oh dear Lord, please don't let it be there when I come back; I can't stomach that!" But he was there when I returned...Only he was too exhausted to even lift his head this time. I thought surely he'd be dead soon. I forgot about him...until about a week later I was driving up to camp. There he was, a bit further down the road. How in the world was he still alive living on the side of a busy road, with nothing to eat around? But I've seen him a number of times this summer. And even when I don't see him, I worry that I am going to see him...it sort of ruins my trip to Rugova for some peace and quiet reflection...

Fall here is breathtaking!

Okay, so, what was all that about? Why go into such depth and detail about a nasty, disgusting dog? Great question! As I was hiking up there yesterday, silently worrying about an encounter with him around each bend, I had a thought. Isn't that life? I've noticed it a lot since coming over here. People love to hear about the fun, culturally different, even funny, things about my time over here. I can dredge up some pretty entertaining stories. But when I begin to talk about the need of the people here. How life is for most villagers and gypsies. Or about religious obligations that enslave people. Heads turn. Ears close. Eyes glaze over. A subject change happens quick. I see it all the time. And I don't think it's not that people don't care or don't want to know. I think it's a bit like that dog was for me: overwhelming! Where would I even begin to help him? Feed him something one day, he's just as much in need the next day. Give him a bath (cringe!), what would that solve? And so it feels in regards to AIDS in Africa. Orphans in South America. Wars in the Middle East. Trafficking in Asia. Or whatever you want to pick out from the world news. Overwhelmed? Don't know how to begin? Would it even matter?

The US is very 'bubble-ish'...What I mean is that we can ignore these things, because truly we can ignore them. They don't touch our immediate lives or spheres. It takes a lot of effort to be knowledgeable about what's going on in the world and a lot of money to go visit one of those places. Most never have and never will... But something from nearly each page of the Word of God challenges that: Love the Widow! Care for the Orphan! Provide for those in Need! Be His hands. Live as He lived. Walk where He walked. See as He saw. Love as He loved! Don't turn your head away and ignore it all...

It's not at all comfortable. It's not at all easy, in any way. It's not beautiful or elegant. And you won't likely be applauded or even accepted in most places for living like that...But in the scheme of things- do those things matter? Aren't you called to Love Him with all your mind, heart, soul, and strength and Love your neighbor likewise? The two greatest commands! And who is my neighbor other than the least of these?

So, there you have it...my ramblings from a long hike, past a revolting and disgusting dog yesterday!

Camp Videos

I know, I know- I'm sooo behind on videos! I have a million to work on from the music/art tour...and we have another tour coming up in a few weeks again! Yikes...

But here's a few from camp.

Making tortillas from scratch- the girls loved it!

A compilation of the low ropes activities- hilarious!

Beautiful girls- fun camp...

To God be all glory and honor!

The Sweet Life!

Lovin' my job! I get to hang out and play at camp!! Jealous- well, you should be... This past week we had an incredible camp with 8 girls. We couldn't have asked for a better group! We did so many fun things, talked about their worth in God, beauty, and purity, watched a movie in our PJ's in the tent, ate delicious food, and just pretty much had an amazing time. Keep scrolling down to see what the week looked like. 

Craft models (ribbon hairbands).

All the crafts (and yes, there was a boy- actually 4- at camp!).

Get to know you game:

Answer the question your thumb lands on.

Girls from my girls' group! Yay...

Ice cream sundaes- woohoo for sugar!

Ah-mazing food every meal!

Using the Bird's Nest-

built by this group.

Low ropes course-

team building activities.

Super fun and challenging for the girls.

Modeling their hairbands :)

We divided into 2 groups and had a puzzle competition.

Only the puzzles were near impossible...

stupid old pieces that fit everywhere!

My group that...um, well, lost...

Wish I had this array of food each morning for breakfast!

Hanging out at craft time.

We discovered that some of the leaders indeed had trust issues!

Lesson time-

Love this picture!

I got to teach on God's view of beauty and Him as the Creator and lessons I've learned along the way. It was really fun!

This is my look alike...just younger!

Girls from our girls' group :)

Workers at the coffeeshop next door to my house.

My next door neighbor-

how I met her here.

Such a blessing that she came. She kept saying:

"I've never heard any of this before!"

Please join us in praying for her and all these other girls!

Beautiful young ladies!

Thanks for taking the time to look through all those.

Please let their pictures remain on your heart and mind in the coming weeks. These young women have tough decisions to make and live out. Pray also for us as we love on and minister to them!

*camp videos coming soon*

Who Are You?

There's something I've been wrestling with, chewing on, and trying to figure out for a number of months now. I guess the short version would be to sum it up in identity. However, I am not good at short versions- especially on my blog! :) So, I'll expound a bit more...

These past 3 years I've been living out one of my dreams- to move overseas, love on people, grow with God, and see Him exalted among the nations. It's been a huge passion of mine since I can remember. The title for such a profession is normally referred to as a missionary. About 10 months into my time here, I was asked to lead the team that my organization had here. I did so for a little over a year and a half. During that time, I had the title of team leader. I've worn many other hats during my time here: foreigner, English teacher, aid worker, neighbor, Albanian student, friend, writer, etc. But not only that, I've had tons of other things that defined me in the past: waitress, secretary, psych student, RA, church member, daughter, sister, student, etc. We all have hundreds of things we're good at, we partake in, we study, we work at, or whatever in this life time. We pursue and maybe accomplish dreams. We fail. We climb mountains. We stay in the valley. We run. We sit. We could be defined by those things- in fact, isn't that one of the first things that someone asks you when they meet you? "What do you do? Where do you work? What are you studying..." Why? Well, we want to categorize people. If they don't fit into our perfectly made up boxes it makes us feels slightly uncomfortable to be around them. Did you ever meet someone that answered one of those questions out of the normal way? "What do you do for a living?" "Well, I am a vocational lover." (that's from one of the past team members I had over here) Odd answer- makes you feel weird, interested, or maybe a bit upset that you know they are wanting to draw you into something deeper by forcing another question.

But I'm tired of being defined by titles, jobs, or things. God started me on a journey this past spring to attempt to remove all other titles other than: Follower of Jesus (could also be His Disciple). Everything else is totally secondary! I've not lived the past 3 years (or pretty much ever...) like that, and I've faced the severe consequences and stress of the decisions I've made and the weights I've shouldered to carry. The only weight He gives to carry is to follow Him. To pursue Him above all else. Thus, when He says: "My yoke is light, and my burden easy," He really means it in truth. But we, as people, pick up hundreds of other things to add on...And then complain that He's given us too much to bear.

So, this summer has been one of the best times in my life. Why? Well, not because it's been easy and full of sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies, but because it's been filled with Him. I'm not saying that the past years before, over here, haven't been filled with Him- they've just been clouded up with so much other junk and pressures I knowingly and unknowingly placed on my shoulders. I was important. I was doing great things for God. I was needed by others. I was going places... And all those things and thoughts landed me in one of the worst places I've ever been this past winter: wondering where God was and why He allowed me to be in the place I was. When I came back here, after being in the US this spring, I knew it was going to be rough. I was leaving at the end of the summer, thus stripping myself of nearly all titles I'd been given or given myself. I became a nobody. That is, I became what I should have been all along: A Follower of God and nothing else.

As the summer draws to a close, there is a tension in my heart. Why did it take so long to learn all this? Why do I have to now leave as I'm finally understanding and getting what it means to live on mission? I've had some of the most amazing conversations and things I've been a part of this summer. Things I've dreamed of doing for the past 3 years. What a huge gift from my Beautiful Father to be here and be a part of all this right now.

The longing inside my heart to stay is great. But it's time to move on. To go back home to America... I have so much more peace as I'm preparing to go there- not cuz I have a job lined up, an apartment to move into, or smooth sailing in any arena. But because I know who I am and who I'm following as I go forth. And most days that's enough for my restless, wandering heart!

Traffic Chaos!

About once a day or so my roommate and I have the privilege of hearing loud honking and angry yelling outside. Many times it draws my attention outward, and I go out on the balcony to witness the chaos below. It's still humorous for me- even after living in this flat for over a year. Driving here takes much talent and isn't for the faint hearted... Watch below for more details.

Fly Away!

This video was taken yesterday at the end of our carnival for teens. It's the first one I'm uploading, because it seriously cracks me up on so many levels. Example: the little guy at the beginning that is embarrassed for being caught looking down his pants. However, I can't blame him- he'd been through a gross mud pit, a soapy slip and slide, and a ton of other yuck stuff! And then the random boys kicking each other in the bottoms. Watch closely for other funny things! I love these kids...!

Sorry it ends so abruptly, I can't remember what happened, but some sort of chaos near me, and I had to turn of the camera quick- ha! Oh, and click on the video once to watch in on my blog. Click twice to watch it bigger on Youtube. :)

My Day..

She nearly left, but one of the band members talked her into staying for the carnival we had for local teens today. I'm thinking at this moment she regretted that decision...

Her team- after the mud pit!

Pretty gross. Was glad I was managing the apple bobbing!

There's an amazing painter on the team with the band this time.

She paints while they sing.

Beautiful...simply beautiful!!

You Know...

you've had a long, really hot day when you arrive home and your undershirt looks a bit like this:

Yeah...that's a bit gross, but it's all I got for now! ;-)

Camp, kid's carnivals, and music/art tours are in full swing- yes, those are all happening at the same time! It's been a lot of fun and I'm rejoicing in God for His love and faithfulness during these long, hot days. I'll be back sometime with all the fun pictures and videos I've been taking... One of these days!

*Oh, and yes, I am laying on my bed, eating candy again- why do you ask? ;-)